TMI Tuesday #193 (rebroadcast, but not for me!)

1. How many speeding tickets have you had? Accidents?

Three tickets - in middle-of-nowhere Texas, Hwy. 95 in Arizona (late for my plane!), and again in middle-of-nowhere Texas. Damn Texans are awful sneaky with their speed traps. Should have had many more though. I drive relatively cautiously now (5 - 10 miles over the speed limit), but I used to be a lead foot.

I've been in three accidents. When I was a teenager my mom flipped the Suburban over on I-95 heading to Disney World. Luckily enough no one was hurt and we went to Disney anyway :) Several years ago we had a tire blowout on the beemer when I was driving from FL back to VA after Fantasy Fest. We went for a spin (360) on I-95 and ended up in a ditch, but no one was hurt and we got to spend three days on the beach in Charleston, SC while we waited for new tires to be shipped in. And then, just a few weeks ago driving back to Havasu from a swing party in Lake Mead on Hwy. 95 in California, some asswipe came out of a turn on my side of the two-lane highway. He was coming at us head-on and I swerved and just barely missed him ... but the back tires lost traction and I went into a spin again (and for a moment I had really thought I was going to be able to catch it). Another 360 and I ended up in the dirt on the opposite side of the highway. DAMN lucky there wasn't any traffic behind the guy, or we'd probably be dead. Fucker didn't even stop to see if we were OK. Lance said I'm the only person he knows of who's done two 360 spins on highways going 70 mph without incurring any damage to person or property. Sometimes I can be quite lucky.


2. Boxers, briefs or commando?

I always go commando :) I like wearing a skirt and *accidentally* giving out little peeks. :)



For guys, I like boxers. Keeps the package loose for better airflow and freshness.


3. Have you ever had sex in your office or your place of employment?

I currently work from home, so - duh - yes! During previous jobs ... nope. Not that I wouldn't like to have a steamy supply closet quickie, but I've unfortunately never been attracted to anyone I've worked with :(


4. Do you or your so own a motorcycle? Do you ever ride one? Do you wear a helmet when you ride?

We used to have a Yamaha crotch rocket. LOVED it, but was pretty sure I'd die on it. I probably wouldn't feel the same way if *someone* would have ever gotten around to teaching me how to drive it myself, but it can be quite scary riding on the back without having any control. (not that I'm a control freak!). And I ALWAYS wore a helmet. I really have no idea why everyone doesn't. (Arizona does not have a helmet law, and I've known several people who have died or gotten seriously fucked up because they weren't wearing a helmet).


5. Ever been skinny dipping?

Oh yeah, like every weekend!! Other than backyard pools (which shouldn't count!), I've been skinny-dipping in lakes (several, and across the country), in Chesapeake Bay, the Atlantic Ocean and in the Gulf of Mexico. I LOVE being naked in the water. And of course I love being naked in public places :)

My favorite skinny-dipping experience was at an event in eastern Maryland called "LoveFest". It was this HUGE camp-out on a farm on Chesapeake Bay with at least a couple hundred people. It was a weekend-long event with bands, a pig roast, and various fun camping activities (made even funner courtesy of the beer truck!). Including a big skinny dip in the bay each night. LoveFest is in June during the height of some organism's spawning season, and at night when you were swimming every time you moved you would create a trail of iridescent lights in the path of your movement. They were actually - if not microscopic - then REALLY tiny eggs of some sort. You couldn't feel them at all, you could just see the trail of light. It was the grooviest thing ever! 'Course, impossible to catch on film (at least for our drunken asses) but I do have a few fun LoveFest skinny dipping pics :)





Bonus: Ever been arrested? Turned someone in/had someone arrested?

Unfortunately, I have been arrested and am, also unfortunately, a convicted felon. What could such a sweet, smart, wonderful girl have done to get herself in trouble with the law, you might ask? I ran a sex website in an ulta-conservative state and had the gall to not hide it - or myself - behind closed doors. We were hosting weekly barmeets at a bar/pool hall in Fairfax, VA. We'd have anywhere from 20 to 60 people show up every Tuesday night, and to say that management loved us was an understatement. They let us get away with murder - or with just about anything sexual we could think of, anyway. They were so good to us that we started to treat the place more like a swing club than what it was - a PUBLIC venue. And we were so well-known that morning DJs would actually talk about us on the radio. Local radio. AND, it was an election year. The perfect storm.

One night the Commonwealth sent undercover Alcoholic Beverage Control agents (kind of the equivalent of the federal ATF) to our barmeet. And one night I emerged from a trip to the ladies room to the very disconcerting act of having a cop on either side of me, grasping my upper arms and wrists and hauling them behind me to a third cop with waiting handcuffs. I felt like I must have been the Commonwealth's most wanted. They sure had a hard-on for me!

I spent the night at the Fairfax County jail and was charged with "Attempted Sodomy". Yeah, not even the full monty! Geez. During the course of the evening I had pulled up my skirt and bent over while another girl pretended to kiss my butt. The agents seized my husband's camera to prove it. They had to charge me with attempted sodomy (in VA anything that is not missionary position between a husband and wife in the privacy of their bedroom is considered sodomy) because the chick never actually touched my privates. But charged I was, as well as convicted. How fucked up is that?

A few years later the U.S. Supreme Court ruled sodomy laws unconstitutional. I'm not exactly sure how this is (since the Supreme Court ruling and all), but the Commonwealth of VA is the only state in the U.S. that still has sodomy laws on the books. If fact, according to sodomylaws.org only a handful of countries in the world still have sodomy laws at all, and 97% of those are in Africa or the Middle East. How fucking ridiculous that I was charged and convicted of attempted sodomy because a girl PRETENDED to kiss my butt cheek? We left Virginia shortly after that and have no plans to ever return. Which, I'm sure, is what they're goal was the whole time anyways.

Yes, it was dumb of us to become so complacent about sex acts in a place that was open to the public (even if it was the over-21-only public). But does that really warrant a felony conviction? (and, btw, there was never any penetration in the bar. Occasionally a little quick oral, but mostly flashing and teasing type stuff - like an air-kiss to the butt!).

Makes me angry just to think about it.